Umpiring Softball was Muuuuch Easier

Without belaboring the Serena Williams situation TOO much, because I believe she is starting on the right path to having this judged as "one of those things that sometimes happens", I'd like to put a few situations I ran into as a softball umpire out there for consideration.

There are four or five particularly relevant moments that come to mind, and up front, arc or slow-pitch softball is MILES away from hard-core NBA, NFL or even tennis tournament umpiring. When you do leagues, you *almost* become friends with the players; the greatest compliment I ever got was the player who said, "I hate the way you call the high strike, but you call it the same all the time." That's essentially what both umpires and refs of any station should be shooting for, because there is NO doubt that players will always want to question your basic fairness if you deviate slightly either direction for or against us or them. You see an NBA ref that seems to be explaining things with a coach while watching a free throw, well, sometimes you have to invest some explanation time vs. just saying, "I made the call."

The most profound and closest-to-the-Serena type moment involved 'Mongito' in Tampa, FL. After having been called out by the plate umpire on a ball barely above dirt level, he pounded his bat on the ground leaving the batters box and half-shouted, "Jesus!" in frustration. That ump, a *very* straight-laced and religious person, immediately ejected him from the game for swearing, a fact Mongito's teammates let him know about just as immediately, and all HELL broke loose. I seem to recall at least three players restraining their 5'0" captain, but then the ump declared the game OVER and I *knew* the shit had hit the fan.

For the sake of accuracy, Mongito's team was Hispanic, and I was thankful that my buddy Ivan was able to explain that yes, the furious Mongito could put up $50 to protest the team's forfeit, but I really couldn't say anything about what the other ump had done.

Example two is simple: one of the players used the N-word while complaining about his ejection by my fellow 'blue'. The runner came around third on a hit to center, the throw was great even if the catcher moved a little up the line, and when the runner plowed into him, the ejection was automatic--the rule is you *have* to slide. The fact that one team was all black mattered less than the all-white team having only nine players; the rule was you couldn't play with eight, so the ejection ended the game. The fact I was holding back a guy who was VERY thick in the chest and ready to go with the player over his use of that particular word is the opposite situation of the Serena case: the large, angry, black person happened to be the umpire. The point is, you see someone with that kind of fire in their eyes, you have every reason to be afraid.

Situation #3--Long fly ball, actually out of bounds (but no fence) is caught in left field, and runner at second tags and goes. The throw to third hits a light pole and *richocets* into center field. Not knowing the ground rules, I call time and go find the complex supervisor, who tells me its runners advance ONE BASE. Wearing topsiders and a tank top, I'd fill in for the game during a tournament with a pretty decent competitive reputation. Whether it was the informal attire vs. my usual 3-patch blue shirt, shorts and cleats that failed to engender respect, I don't know, but even after explaining the ground rules, that team, and one female in particular, kept after that call constantly for was seemed like forever. Finally I took a couple steps towards their dugout and said, "I hear ONE MORE WORD about it from *anyone* and SHE goes!" Amazing the power you feel being right, and they didn't test me.

The final situation, home team down by one in the sixth. Base umpire calls first batter out when he's safe, the second, an obvious make-up, safe when he's soooo out, which causes the entire infield to jump on him. He calls time, asks if he blew it that bad, to which I saw Oh yeah! His only out is to ask for my help by saying he was blocked on the call, something that should NEVER happen on a play at first. I call the runner out, they get a run anyway. Bottom of next inning, batter hits a towering fly to right field, where the outfielder is playing him like he is King Kong. While he runs in and takes the ball on a short hop and pegs it to second, the batter never gives up, slides into second with a bang-bang play. The other ump, who'd drifted towards the outfield on the fly ball, turns around AND SHRUGS HIS SHOULDERS! He didn't have a call on the play. I saw it, call the runner out, he goes as ballistic as Serena, uses the right (or wrong) combination of words and I toss him.

I don't know why the foot fault call couldn't have been reviewed. The technology was certainly available for any other service or line call, and while I personally feel Serena wasn't going to beat Clijster's that night in any case, if she could say, "You've got to be F--king KIDDING me! Put that crappy call on the Jumbotron!" like McEnroe would have, things *might* not have escalated to the point they did.

As an umpire we had a saying: "The only guy you can count on out there is the one dressed like you." While it was a brutal time to make a call like that lines judge did, the chair umpire HAD to back her, especially in light of the frightening spectacle Serena screaming like that provided. You might say, like I did about Mongito and his team being bounced, "Hoooooo-ly SHIT!" at which side you have to stick with. Truthfully, I've turned to other people at tennis tournaments and said, "What game is she watching?" and at the end of the whole affair, you can see why they put instant replay into football and yes, instituted the 'Mac-Cam' in tennis. Two looks at the instant replay could have spared everyone a lot of grief.

And for sure, umpiring softball is definitely easier, even when I did a medium-pitch league and called like 10 walks on this one pitcher who kept complaining about my strike zone, and then I found out he was freaking *blind* in one of HIS eyes...

Glenn S.

Opposite Ends of the Spectrum

Unbelievable as it was to see, Serena Williams *did* do and say all those outrageously bad things that ended her US Open match with Kim Clijsters, and nothing about it being a terrible foot fault call or the subsequent penalty point that ended things can overcome my dismay about the situation. For someone who is almost always a rock mentally and physically to go off in as public a display as Serena did is kind of unthinkable, close to that moment that Woody Hayes belted a Clemson football player for intercepting a pass that sealed a loss for Ohio State many years ago.

That long ago event is still stuck in my memory banks, and I have a feeling Serena's abusive acts are going to stay with me quite a while too. Soooo out of character, because the Williams sisters have done an exceptional job of being quality competitors and people. While its obvious they are Afro-American ladies, that does zero to change my opinions about them as athletes, which is all about positives--they achieve the level of game that made Chris Evert or Martina or Steffi great in the minds of those who care about tennis. Whether you give their father credit for putting steel into them that allowed extreme calm or awareness so they wouldn't be overtly controversial, resulting in careers relatively free of finger pointing, they've weathered some career ups and downs. At one point it seemed they would totally dominate the sport with their speed and power, but they've always been diplomatic at all points. That Serena was obtuse and somewhat evasive during the post match press conference, I am just flat out stunned about the whole affair.

That the unranked and inspired Clijsters will be playing in the finals is a boon to all actually. You can't see her slugging away, doing those incredible full splits to get to balls impossibly deep in a corner (ask Venus Wiliams) and not think she would be a terrific champion. Coming back to the level she's attained after retiring and having children, that is an exceptional feat. Kudos to 17 year old Melanie Oudin for her run during the tournament too, you expect to see more of her in the future.

The other end of the spectrum from Serena came from Michigan's freshman QB Tate Forcier, who had a terrific game and wound up throwing the winning TD pass against Notre Dame with 11 seconds to go. When they stuck a microphone in front of him immediately after that 38-34 barnburner, he was thrilled about everything, but said he hadn't been at all nervous, even with 105,000 people hanging on every play. He even calmly assessed Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis' throwing two incomplete passes so Michigan got the ball back on a punt and allowed time for their last successful drive with, "those (two) time outs came in handy," a straight up observation that 1000 sports pundits will question Weis about for quite a while into the future.

Really people, let's admit that its muuuuch easier to hide whatever might be going on inside your helmet or guts when there are 85 other guys milling around, when you can sit on the sidelines and work things out regarding your specific role in a TEAM operation vs. being sweatily alone. Forcier was of 23-33 for 240 yards and a couple TDs, plus he ran for 70 yards, including 31 for a TD on a QB keeper after faking the jock off a Notre Dame player, but he didn't have to try covering Notre Dame's wide outs, who had a great afternoon in their own right. If you're up against the wall with someone who represents a human backboard, is taking your best shots and feeding them to you time after time, the immediacy of not knowing how the heck you do enough things 'righter' can certainly put you on edge.

If you've ever had a "friendly" game of *anything* go truly sour because your opponent pulled something noxious, perhaps having some 6'3" dipshit slam a spike into your girlfriend's face in a backyard BBQ volleyball match, maybe you can understand the difference. I would certainly have a HUGE problem with having a foot fault called at that point in a match, but I'd like to think as a professional that I could do better than lose an important match by threatening a lines judge. McEnroe might be the standard bearer for such personal pyrotechnics--I mentioned in my previous blog about seing him hold up a Seniors tour game for almost ten minutes while asking the umpire to overrule a service call--but he seemed to be able to channel that aggression remarkably well afterwards.

We cheer those youngsters (Matt Barkley of USC was similarly calm during an amazing 14-play, 84 yard, almost 6 1/2 minutes final drive against Ohio State, but with a shower of "Praise Gods!" and "It was amazings!" for the microphones afterwards) who produce in the clutch. We'll see if Forcier and Barkley are as gracious when they lose several close games and some fans question their size or mental capacity or whatever. Right now, I expect Serena will do some public apologizing for her actions; she'll look at the tapes of her press conference and admit her answers were lousy compared to the gravity of what she'd done. She didn't have any leeway for recovery from that meltdown, and while its easy to be an armchair quarterback and ask what Weis was doing throwing passes vs. running the clock out, she was 100% responsible, and I expect she'll work on fixing this blast to her reputation.

Glenn S.